An Ode To My Besties (plural)

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Let me just begin this by saying, if you have one ‘True Blue’ that you’ve maintained a bestie bond with; one, single, lone, solitary bestfriend, then — good for you. But if you’re like me then you’ve had the privilege of enjoying the presence of multiple besties! And I’m not just talking a throng of besties from the same phase in your life… Ex. You met in grade school and you’ve been cliqued up ever since. Not that played out squad. Lol. I mean it’s cute but just a teeny tiny bit lame (flaunting my personal opinion on the matter here). Life is about growing up and maturing and learning new things, and nothing new comes without change. Let me rephrase that! With growth there is change. The two coexist. With that said, doesn’t it seem only natural that over the course of your life and the many growing, maturing, learning phases, that the face of your bestie will no doubt change? Your body changes. Your voice changes. You change your hair, your career, your love interest. Why not your bestie? I mean really If you’re looking for a lifetime bestie, find one in your sibling, a close cousin, your high school sweetheart turned spouse. I’m on bestie #4 in this crazy life. Each has encompassed my world at different times and these times are a reflection of growth. If I may introduce you to MY besties.

Leslie… She and I met pretty early in life. I can’t give you the exact year. Just know that we were LYLAS (love you like a sister) before 1st grade (guessing somewhere around the mid-80’s). In my memory she’s my pressed hair, ponytail, hair bows, ribbons, ruffles on socks, sweet, shy childhood bestfriend. My most loved memory during this besties reign is, jumping on the bed and getting scolded by my mom. Classic!

Next meet Natasha… Quiet, quiet, quiet Natasha. Be still my beating heart. How could I have found someone so much like me in this here lifetime?! I am amazed especially since I’m just beginning to explore who I am. In my memory she’s my biggest smile bestie. We read books together. My diary is a topic of extreme interest… We whisper, a lot, because surely the entire world is conspiring to devour little girls like she & I. My most loved memory during this besties reign is revealing to her the sexual abuse I was enduring at the hands of my biological father. Quiet, quiet, quiet Natasha swooped in all silent but strong-like with her super hero cape and very literally saved me! Because of her I was removed from my father’s home. The year was 1992.

Bestie #3. Hello Donna Jean… I’m all grown up now. It’s only befitting that I embrace a bestie in this new phase of life. We work together for a stint. We become friends. I have children. She has a niece & nephew she sees in the same lovelight. She’s about to become a mom. When her son is born, she & I are closer than close! I become his God-Mother. Two daughters follow suit. Guess what? I’m appointed to be their God-Mother as well! I’m thrilled!!!!!!!! Can’t you tell? Lol. She’s all calm & collected. In my memory her face is saying, “It’s cool. I got this!” This is important for me to see! My most loved memory is sitting in a pew, at a church I’d never been to, surrounded by folks I didn’t know, listening to the Preacher sing a tiny song of praise in my direction as the entire congregation witnessed the appointing of God-Child to God-Mother. I can get teary eyed just thinking about it. Oh yeah, I was somewhere in my twenties. 28 or 29.

Jamie… Big things come in small packages. I’m a believer! What can I say about this bestie that I’ve found during the late-30’s phase of my life? What can I say about her without giving a pretty darn close description of myself? She’s all sweet & petite, but don’t piss her off, lest you wanna go toe-to-toe with this firecracker’s wrath. She’s a good mom and a good mate and I think we see and appreciate that in each other. She’s my needs a tan, freckled skin, bobbed hair, glasses wearing, can tapping bestie. We may look opposite in appearance, but surely there was not a shortage of fabric when the Creator cut us from the same cloth. My favorite memory is simultaneously deciding to leave an unsatisfactory job.

So there you have em. From the 80’s till present day. 30+ years of besties that have changed as much as I have. I wonder what besties await me!

Katandra Jackson Nunnally at Amazon,


First Childhood Memory

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A first childhood memory must be as rare as a unicorn sighting for someone who’s had an ok childhood. But for the adult survivor of any traumatic childhood event, first memories are like ghosts of a Christmas never had. When I was 10, My biological father molested me. The abuse lasted up until the summer before my 13th birthday. I mention this because events prior to this are very hazy. One can’t simply choose which things she (or he) would like to forget without the threat of repressing more than bad memories.

But if I squeeze my eyes hard enough and tip-toe quietly and tip-toe past the sleeping beast, I might be able to recall in the least, an early memory, a memory of me before rape became a part of me.

There used to be this great big ol’ tree in my great aunts yard. This was the home of childhood family gatherings, Thanksgiving in particular. Well, I used to climb that tree. No fear. No trepidation. No hesitation. No solid ground beneath my feet. Just me & that tree. I loved it up there. The higher the better. Closer to the clouds is where every Dreamer desires to be. I was fearless then. Childhood was innocent. Life was sweet. And I was still a little girl.

CEO & Writer at FreedomInk Publishing, Katandra Jackson Nunnally. Like us at Facebook… woman climb tree.jpg.653x0_q80_crop-smart